Oct 6, 2008

Walmart, anyone?

Ok, I know I acted like I was annoyed with "potty humor" in my last post, but I have something to admit to you all. I lied. In fact, I think it's quite hysterical, but for some reason, it's even more hysterical at my age with my mother. When Mom and I were driving along, we passed a gas station with a sign out front. I looked at Mom and said, "Did you read that?" She laughed and said, "yes!" I said, "It's almost worth going back and taking a picture." She said, "Do it." So, I pulled a "U-ey" in the middle of the road and went back to snap these pictures....



It was the "Thank you for your patience" that I found the most enjoyable on this sign.

In addition to this ridiculousness, I wanted to post what I read today. By the time I was done reading, I was laughing so hard with Matt and Mary that I had tears streaming down my face. Why this type of humor continues to make me laugh, I don't know, but for those of you who have the same sick sense of humor that I have, (and that would be pretty much all of you ), I dedicate this to you.

You’re in Walmart, and you’re bored. Or you’re just in a defiant type of mood. Or maybe going through a rebellious phase. Try a few of these....

1. Ride a bicycle through the store. Tell anyone that gives you a strange look that you’re taking it for a test drive. Bonus factor: if the bike has a horn, use it. That’s what it’s there for.

2. Randomly throw items over into the next isle. Then shout, "Where did THAT come from?"

3. Find two people walking closely together. Run between them and yell “Red Rover!”

4. Indoor (shopping) cart races!

5. Indoor freeze tag. Include random customers. You don’t want anyone feeling left out.

6. Go to the toy isle: Dodge ball! Again, include random customers.

7. While in the toy isle, find Barbie. Sit in the middle of the isle and brush her hair. Tell her why she’s too good for Ken.

8. Buy a pack of gum. Buy another pack of gum and return to the same cashier. Repeat several times. Pretend like you’re seeing that cashier for the first time, and say in an excited tone, "HEY! how's your day going?"

9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, cover your ears and yell, “It’s those voices again!”

10. As the cashier scans your items, say, “BEEP” in a loud voice. Do this for every item. Do this for other customers’ items too.

11. Challenge customers to duel-with tubes of gift-wrap.

12. When someone is behind you, walk very slowly. When they try to pass you, speed up.


So, how about it? Anyone up for a trip to Walmart?

9 comments:

Mama said...

I'm in! Personal favorites....?

Numbers 7 & 12

Trish said...

OOOOOOhhhhh--I am so in--let's go tonight! :) Especially would like to try out the bike and horn.

Krissy said...

Well, I can't say as I was surprised to see you two gassy gals under that sign. I do believe I've been more than "patient" for decades now living with you and Mom and your gastrointestinal "issues."

Becky said...

3, 8 and 10 were the personal faves of mine.

PS K, don't lecture us about gas.

Kris said...

All of them got a hearty LOL out of me, but I must admit, I'd be nervous as a cat to try any of them in public. I'm sure YOU however will probably crank out all 12 on your next visit to Wal-Mart. Ok, if I was feeling particularly gutsy, I miiiiiiiiiight try #12.

Becky said...

Joel and I just had a good ole laugh for ourselves. I said, "Ooo, wow! Krissy said she'd try one...let's see what number 12 is!" So, I clicked back to read what the big dare that the non-daring sister said she would do. We both leaned in to read and burst out laughing. You're such a cotton-headed-ninnie-muggins!!

DeAnna said...

LOL!!!! To the sign, the list and Krissy's comment about your "issues" :) I have to say I wouldn't personally try any of these in public, but I would be glad to accompany Becky and point and laugh at her as she did these, because I'm sure she would. :) Oh, well, #12 I'm sure I've done something similar. Those annoying people who want to pass you, but don't have the courtesy to say "Excuse Me", yeah, I'll take all day trying to decide "wings" or "no wings".....

Alyssa said...

You crack me up, Becky:). That gave me a good laugh this morning.

Becky said...

Hey Alyssa!

Ya know, you and Krissy aren't far from Walmart, you could try a couple of these together. I must warn you though, she is about the worst person you could ever dare. She just never pulls through.

Krissy, I dare you...in fact I make that a double dog dare to do number 8.